We had a nice weekend last week, but I haven't had much time to post pictures or write...go figure!
We started with soccer like usual, I think we will all be a little sad when it is over! Charli enjoys the game and practice and it is a lot of fun to watch her. Sunday Charli participated in the 1-mile fun-run in Humphrey. She was super excited to race with the big kids, and was probably one of the (if not the) youngest ones in the 1-mile race...we bumped her from the "toddler trot" which is a block long run! She was a champ. She ran just under half and then wanted to walk, which turned into wanting to quit. I wouldn't let her quit so we ran/walked it together. For those of you who were there I was the mom at one point dragging Charli down the street because I would not let her quit! She was exhausted by the time she hit the finish line...but she hit the finish line! I was so proud of her for not giving up and quiting just because it was hard. Many older kids cut the route short, but this little trooper followed the path and made it to the end! We can only pray that this is a characteristic which she will foster and continue to grow in her life!
Harper has been doing well, he is sleeping much better most of the time - which helps mom and dad feel better! (he was never phased by the lack of sleep!) He got to spend two days working with Chad this week, I am not sure who enjoyed that more Chad or Harper...but they both had fun together. We have daycare two days a week which is a big help, but the other three days can be stressful because both Chad and I have jobs with deadlines...and those can generally be pushed to the limit but not left behind! Chad has really been a life-saver through this ordeal, which is comforting. I am lucky to have him. Now, will someone please tell him that so he doesn't think all I do is complain :-)
Charli had her first field trip this week, pre-school went to the pumpkin patch in Norfolk. They had a beautiful "summer" day for their October trip! She was super excited to bring home her pumpkin. I am glad they went because I was feeling guilty that we weren't going this year...too many things Harper can't do and I didn't think it was fair for him to know what he was missing out on!
Even with the cast Harper is finding ways to do all of the things that he enjoyed before. He can now lay himself down, pull himself up, roll to each side and scoot! He went from his room to the hallway last night!! We have also found ways for him to ride the 4-wheeler and that makes him a happy boy! Friday marks week THREE in the cast, the halfway mark. I think this is something worth celebrating!
Perhaps I will get some pictures posted this weekend...don't hold your breath, but do come back to check it out!!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
update on Harper
Harper had his first follow-up with the orthopedic dr on Friday. They did a few xrays and things seems to be lined up well, which is good news!! The not as fun news is that the cast will be on for another four weeks before it comes off!! UGH!! The most important thing is that it heals properly and correctly the first time...but aside from that, only doing this for two more weeks was pretty exciting, so you can about imaging what hearing "see you in 4 weeks" was.
Harper is a champ for the most part! Sleep is getting better, slowly, thankfully! The hardest part is trying to have two full time working parents without full time daycare! It IS temporary, which is important to remember and easy to forget while in the 'day to day'!!
It looks like Harper will be cast-free for Halloween, but sounds like he may not be able to walk for awhile after the casts come off - so we will see what trick-or-treating will bring for us this year!!
Thanks for all the prayers to help Harper heal, each day I am reminded how luck we are despite our current situation! Bones heal and six weeks isn't forever!! What is forever, however, is the way our friends and family have reminded us how they will always be there for us when we need them!
Harper is a champ for the most part! Sleep is getting better, slowly, thankfully! The hardest part is trying to have two full time working parents without full time daycare! It IS temporary, which is important to remember and easy to forget while in the 'day to day'!!
It looks like Harper will be cast-free for Halloween, but sounds like he may not be able to walk for awhile after the casts come off - so we will see what trick-or-treating will bring for us this year!!
Thanks for all the prayers to help Harper heal, each day I am reminded how luck we are despite our current situation! Bones heal and six weeks isn't forever!! What is forever, however, is the way our friends and family have reminded us how they will always be there for us when we need them!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
death...a time for reflection and celebration
Chad has decided it is time to add to his resume. Last week Chad wanted to add "dog grooming" to his list of talents. At first it was not looking good, at all...but eventually he turned it around and it is "okay". However, when people come to visit Kasper still requires an explanation of his cut!!!
We had a last minute change in plans on Sunday so Charli and I had a fun date-day and went to Norfolk to see the Lion King in 3D. After having lunch and bee-bopp'n around she was excited for the movie in 3D, even if she had already seen the regular movie. We had a great time together...it is so nice to get to spend one-on-one time with the kids!
I posted on facebook a few days ago about the dreaded and all too well-known "second child syndrome" that I am fostering in Harper. He was sleeping in his "big boy bed" for three days before I finally took a picture!! (with Charli you can go back to the original blog to see I took many pictures of the entire process!!) Anyway, we finally got a picture! Charli likes to climb in bed with him and read to him...he likes it too! Speaking of "second child syndrome" I (of course, like all of us probably!!) was NOT going to fall victim to this like other moms before me have. Nope, not me. Number two was going to be just as important and the events would matter just as much the first time!! Little did I know!!! It is not that these events matter any less the second time around, it is just different because you are raising two kids of different ages. Looking at all the second borns I know...this explains so much!! (just teasing...for most of you!! HA ha!) At the end of the day Haper knows he has just as much love and support has Charli ever had, and THAT is what is important to me...not the 45 pictures of the bed! ;-)
I had to throw this in!! This is my friend Jen...we are mistaken for each other ALL OF THE TIME!! This not only happens in the office but by total strangers!! At work people think we are each other on a regular basis. When we go places together, complete strangers will comment that we are sisters...and the kicker is when a friend of mine - who I have knows since I met Chad said "I didn't know you had another sister"!! Ahh, Jen...I am lucky to be mistaken for you, but sorry for you luck!!
Today I attended and participated in the funeral of a very special man today.
About 25 years ago I started to realize that I only had one grandpa but two grandmas. Dad had a friend who did the combining of his fields since I was old enough to remember, the man who did this was named Ernie. One night, when I was about 5 years old, I was riding in the combine with Ernie I asked him if he would be my grandpa. Ernie accepted with a smile, and probably a hug. From then on, he was my adoptive grandpa and I thought of him as such. As our family grew up he participated in our lives in other ways too. He loved bowling and helped to foster that love in my siblings and even got them bowling balls! He came to visit Chad while he was in the hospital after his accident in '99, attended my music concerts, and other events which were important to us. Ernie would come visit for coffee in his bib overalls...always caring sweet-n-low in his front pocket, and stirring his coffee with his pliers. I tried so hard to get him to use a spoon, which he would tell me was unnecessary because he had his own spoon with him at all times (his pliers!). Ernie came to my college graduation, and stood proudly in our grandparents picture on our wedding day. Ernie was a special man.
Today my family and I followed the casket into his church where he would be for the last time. During his funeral service I sang my final song for Ernie to hear. I know this is something he would have very much enjoyed. It was emotional, but important.
Ernie loved our family, and others, he "never met a stranger". If you were to visit his home you would see pictures of many people who were near and dear to his heart. And, unlike many of us, he didn't just replace an old picture with a new...rather he would leave all of them up for his joy when he wanted to revisit the face of loved ones.
Ernie just celebrated his 84th birthday. As we celebrated the life of Ernie today, I watched my final grandparent be laid to rest. At a full military service funeral Ernie was honored for his service to the military, remembered for his service to others, and celebrated as a great friend to many.
Thank you for taking a few minutes to learn about Ernie. He was very special to me, and very special to many...Rest in Peace Ernie, and thank you for all you brought into my family!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Lost photo!
I forgot to share this picture last weekend. This shows the length difference in his legs after the break and before the cast!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
maybe the words will be easier...
What a difference 24 hours can make. I am in a much better "place" today!! I have decided to be fully honest about our little experience, so here it comes!! Feel free to stop reading now, I have no idea what is about to come out!
I was so excited for a girls weekend with some of my favorite moms. We were going to have a fun afternoon in Omaha, go to the Katy Perry concert, have silly girl time, sleep late, shop, get a pedi, watch some football, and come home nice and relaxed!! That was the plan.
A few months after plans were made reality set it. Charli would have a soccer game at 9:30 Saturday morning. So, I was just going to wake up and leave at 7:00 from Omaha. I knew I would be tired and look a little rough, but I was okay with that!! Fast forward a few weeks I get a note home from practice that soccer pictures were the day after the concert as well, and Charli would need to be at the field by 8:20. Ugh, I finally decided it would be best to just spend the night rather than drive late (and let's be honest, I wanted to have a few drinks with my friends!). I planned to set my alarm for an early 5 am to get home and get Charli ready for soccer.
Friday...concert day!! I wake up sick! UGH, this is NOT how this weekend was supposed to go!!! I sucked down some hot chocolate, ate lots of fruits, drank some AirBorne, enjoyed a hot shower and hit the road! I met some of my friends to shop for a bit, hit the hotel for some much needed girl time, we all got ready together like a bunch of highschoolers (which was a ton of fun!) and we took off for the concert!
While standing outside of the concert hall, with about 4 minutes before Katy Perry was to start, my friend Jen came to me and said "you need to call Chad - Harper has been hurt. It's for real, I have six messages about it Brenda. You need to call. Ugh, what do you mean "Harper has been hurt?"...he was home. It had to be a joke.
I found a set of stairs to sit on and made the phone call...poor Chad. He was stuck in the ER with a 5 year old and a 2-year old with a broken leg. At this time Chad thought he needed surgery so I needed to find a way home. My WONDERFUL friends were all ready to come to the rescue. One of them offered to have her husband drive up to get me, another offered to drive me home, and finally a friend who was there with her daughter decided she would drive me home. With my next call to Chad he had learned that Harper would NOT need surgery and that he would be admitted for the night. I did not want my friend to miss the experience with her teenage daugther, so we stayed the 45 minutes for the concert to end and jetted out. I made it to the hospital room around 12:30. Linda has always been there to rescue me.
It was a LONG night of no sleep.
Saturday morning Harper's cast was set at 8am, by 9:15 we were by his side. We could do this. We were going to head home around noon.
At 12:30 we were able to have him unhooked from the IV's and we took him on a walk in a wagon. Reality set in hardcore. We could not pick him up. I could not hold him. I was not able to hug him. I could not touch his skin. I could not comfort him, in his time of pain. We laid him down for a nap, Chad tried to rest too.
I found an empty room and cried. Reality set in.
My pity party was answered with messages from close friends who reminded me that not only had we been through and seen worse, yet it was okay to be sad. Later that afternoon we went home. At bedtime I was reminded again that I could not even put him to bed, let alone attempt our typical routine.
Sunday came, Chad went on with life like he always did...totally unphased and refusing to let this win!
Sunday night I was starting to feel better about life. I decided to stay home Monday, but knew we would find a way to tackle this head on. I found a way to get him in and out of bed...and found a way to hold him the best I can for now.
Tuesday rolled around and I was realizing how hard it was again...and just how simply sad it was!! All two year olds are active little things...he is a second born two year old, which means he is full of spit and vinegar at all times!! I miss that, I wish he could tear all those blankets and pillows out like I posted about a few weeks ago!! Wednesday he went to a daycare center, and I worried that he would be easily forgotten, the kids may not tolerate his whining from not being able to be self sufficient. It just hurt my heart that his life was turned upside down in the 2 seconds it took for him to fall off the couch.
But, tonight, life is feeling better!! He had a good day there, he played, he wasn't forgotten, he napped okay, and seemed happy!!
Our lives will be altered greatly in the next FOUR to six weeks (I say that I am hoping for four weeks but planning for six, but lets be honest...if it is more than four weeks I will go crazy. I will go even more crazy!). But in the process I have, again, been reminded how amazing friends and family can be. I know that we have friends who will hug when we need it, send cards to lift our spirits, and listen when I call/text to vent. But what we experienced was more than I expected.
A great friend made a surprise visit to the hospital...friends sent texts to lift my spirits and give me the play by play of the moms weekend so I felt included, family took Charli in so that she wasn't stuck in the hospital with us. On Sunday friends stopped by to play with both kids, giving Chad and I a few minutes to just have our hands free and our mind cleared, a friend took Charli to a soccer game to free up a few hours to work on Harper's comfort, and friends and family came to visit. Chad's sister brought meals to provide for probably 8 nights!! I walked into work to find a fun little basket of toys for Harper!! I have sad several offers to help withthe kids, friends and family are making special pants/diaper covers so Harper stops flashing the entire world...and my wonderful Jen organized friends to provide meals for us twice a week for the next six weeks. In Jen's word...everyone is helping a little to help A LOT.
I am overwhelmed just making a list of what everyone has done. I am sure I have forgot someone or something that was done for us - but that does not mean it was not apprecaited!
So here I am 5 nights after the break, and a few things are still a struggle...Harper not sleeping for much longer than 30-45 minutes at night, holding him in a way which makes *me* feel good, and finding a balance for Charli between big sister, caregiver, and daughter!! But, it is slowly coming together. And, I just can't help but think, if it was only a few inches lower, this broken bone thing would be a "breeze"!!!!!!!
I know that a broken leg, a 2 year old in a body cast, and sleepless nights are nothing in comparisson to what we faced with Charli, but some how this feels different. Maybe because he is older, maybe because the signs of his discomfort were immediate, or maybe it was because we already faced somethign like cancer with our oldest. I am not sure the reason, but I know for a fact that I probably dealt wth the cancer better than I did the broken leg!! (some have said it was because I already passed my tipping point!! -- and it that case I had to agree, because I tipped over to crazy-land!!)
The unknown is the hardest for me, so while we were in limbo of what life would be like, I guess I couldn't process it?! Either way, I had great and amazing friends to keep me grounded and who let me know that it was okay to be a little crazy!!!
Thanks for all of you who have helped me process our new short-term reality. It will be a long/short FOUR weeks, this is NOT life changing. But, it IS another opportunity to say "this will make me or break me", and I will be damned if I am the person who survived my boyfriend fighting for his life while I was just a babe (a young 18 years!!) and various hiccups along the way, and a daughter who fought and beat cancer...but let a broken leg break her spirits!! I will be the first to say, this sucks (lack of a better word in this situation, sorry!!) - but it is something we will dominate!!
Thanks for checking in on us...thanks for the prayers, and thanks for sticking with my rant tonight!! Life is good, God is great...and friends are truly angels who God brings to us so we have arms to fall into when we are ready to break.
I was so excited for a girls weekend with some of my favorite moms. We were going to have a fun afternoon in Omaha, go to the Katy Perry concert, have silly girl time, sleep late, shop, get a pedi, watch some football, and come home nice and relaxed!! That was the plan.
A few months after plans were made reality set it. Charli would have a soccer game at 9:30 Saturday morning. So, I was just going to wake up and leave at 7:00 from Omaha. I knew I would be tired and look a little rough, but I was okay with that!! Fast forward a few weeks I get a note home from practice that soccer pictures were the day after the concert as well, and Charli would need to be at the field by 8:20. Ugh, I finally decided it would be best to just spend the night rather than drive late (and let's be honest, I wanted to have a few drinks with my friends!). I planned to set my alarm for an early 5 am to get home and get Charli ready for soccer.
Friday...concert day!! I wake up sick! UGH, this is NOT how this weekend was supposed to go!!! I sucked down some hot chocolate, ate lots of fruits, drank some AirBorne, enjoyed a hot shower and hit the road! I met some of my friends to shop for a bit, hit the hotel for some much needed girl time, we all got ready together like a bunch of highschoolers (which was a ton of fun!) and we took off for the concert!
While standing outside of the concert hall, with about 4 minutes before Katy Perry was to start, my friend Jen came to me and said "you need to call Chad - Harper has been hurt. It's for real, I have six messages about it Brenda. You need to call. Ugh, what do you mean "Harper has been hurt?"...he was home. It had to be a joke.
I found a set of stairs to sit on and made the phone call...poor Chad. He was stuck in the ER with a 5 year old and a 2-year old with a broken leg. At this time Chad thought he needed surgery so I needed to find a way home. My WONDERFUL friends were all ready to come to the rescue. One of them offered to have her husband drive up to get me, another offered to drive me home, and finally a friend who was there with her daughter decided she would drive me home. With my next call to Chad he had learned that Harper would NOT need surgery and that he would be admitted for the night. I did not want my friend to miss the experience with her teenage daugther, so we stayed the 45 minutes for the concert to end and jetted out. I made it to the hospital room around 12:30. Linda has always been there to rescue me.
It was a LONG night of no sleep.
Saturday morning Harper's cast was set at 8am, by 9:15 we were by his side. We could do this. We were going to head home around noon.
At 12:30 we were able to have him unhooked from the IV's and we took him on a walk in a wagon. Reality set in hardcore. We could not pick him up. I could not hold him. I was not able to hug him. I could not touch his skin. I could not comfort him, in his time of pain. We laid him down for a nap, Chad tried to rest too.
I found an empty room and cried. Reality set in.
My pity party was answered with messages from close friends who reminded me that not only had we been through and seen worse, yet it was okay to be sad. Later that afternoon we went home. At bedtime I was reminded again that I could not even put him to bed, let alone attempt our typical routine.
Sunday came, Chad went on with life like he always did...totally unphased and refusing to let this win!
Sunday night I was starting to feel better about life. I decided to stay home Monday, but knew we would find a way to tackle this head on. I found a way to get him in and out of bed...and found a way to hold him the best I can for now.
Tuesday rolled around and I was realizing how hard it was again...and just how simply sad it was!! All two year olds are active little things...he is a second born two year old, which means he is full of spit and vinegar at all times!! I miss that, I wish he could tear all those blankets and pillows out like I posted about a few weeks ago!! Wednesday he went to a daycare center, and I worried that he would be easily forgotten, the kids may not tolerate his whining from not being able to be self sufficient. It just hurt my heart that his life was turned upside down in the 2 seconds it took for him to fall off the couch.
But, tonight, life is feeling better!! He had a good day there, he played, he wasn't forgotten, he napped okay, and seemed happy!!
Our lives will be altered greatly in the next FOUR to six weeks (I say that I am hoping for four weeks but planning for six, but lets be honest...if it is more than four weeks I will go crazy. I will go even more crazy!). But in the process I have, again, been reminded how amazing friends and family can be. I know that we have friends who will hug when we need it, send cards to lift our spirits, and listen when I call/text to vent. But what we experienced was more than I expected.
A great friend made a surprise visit to the hospital...friends sent texts to lift my spirits and give me the play by play of the moms weekend so I felt included, family took Charli in so that she wasn't stuck in the hospital with us. On Sunday friends stopped by to play with both kids, giving Chad and I a few minutes to just have our hands free and our mind cleared, a friend took Charli to a soccer game to free up a few hours to work on Harper's comfort, and friends and family came to visit. Chad's sister brought meals to provide for probably 8 nights!! I walked into work to find a fun little basket of toys for Harper!! I have sad several offers to help withthe kids, friends and family are making special pants/diaper covers so Harper stops flashing the entire world...and my wonderful Jen organized friends to provide meals for us twice a week for the next six weeks. In Jen's word...everyone is helping a little to help A LOT.
I am overwhelmed just making a list of what everyone has done. I am sure I have forgot someone or something that was done for us - but that does not mean it was not apprecaited!
So here I am 5 nights after the break, and a few things are still a struggle...Harper not sleeping for much longer than 30-45 minutes at night, holding him in a way which makes *me* feel good, and finding a balance for Charli between big sister, caregiver, and daughter!! But, it is slowly coming together. And, I just can't help but think, if it was only a few inches lower, this broken bone thing would be a "breeze"!!!!!!!
I know that a broken leg, a 2 year old in a body cast, and sleepless nights are nothing in comparisson to what we faced with Charli, but some how this feels different. Maybe because he is older, maybe because the signs of his discomfort were immediate, or maybe it was because we already faced somethign like cancer with our oldest. I am not sure the reason, but I know for a fact that I probably dealt wth the cancer better than I did the broken leg!! (some have said it was because I already passed my tipping point!! -- and it that case I had to agree, because I tipped over to crazy-land!!)
The unknown is the hardest for me, so while we were in limbo of what life would be like, I guess I couldn't process it?! Either way, I had great and amazing friends to keep me grounded and who let me know that it was okay to be a little crazy!!!
Thanks for all of you who have helped me process our new short-term reality. It will be a long/short FOUR weeks, this is NOT life changing. But, it IS another opportunity to say "this will make me or break me", and I will be damned if I am the person who survived my boyfriend fighting for his life while I was just a babe (a young 18 years!!) and various hiccups along the way, and a daughter who fought and beat cancer...but let a broken leg break her spirits!! I will be the first to say, this sucks (lack of a better word in this situation, sorry!!) - but it is something we will dominate!!
Thanks for checking in on us...thanks for the prayers, and thanks for sticking with my rant tonight!! Life is good, God is great...and friends are truly angels who God brings to us so we have arms to fall into when we are ready to break.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
no title needed...
I honestly don't even have the words to type, so I will let my pictures do most of the talking...
I woke up to this on Friday morning...two happy kids trying to change their own clothes before getting busted! All smiles and so happy playing!!
we decided that Haper should be a monkey for Halloween this year because of his great monkey face!
ahhh, wouldn't they sleep so snug together?!!
So tell me...how did we get from that to this..
I don't think that any of these pictures do this cast justice. His cast falls just below his armpits and goes to the tips of his toes. His legs are bent at the hips and again at the knee...so he sits/lays at an angle at all times. Oh the joys...
trying to come up with various positions to put him in is a little tricky. He has been a stud through all of this, the pain seems to have past. He is not sleeping well, mainly because of how active he wants to be in his sleep - it doesn't seem to be pain related. He got to spend a day at daycare with this friends today and seemed to have a great time!
as you can see by his smile, not much is going to slow him down!!
I would like to post more later...a bit exhausted tonight! Thank you to all of our great friends who are taking such good care of us! I know that I do not accept help the best, but I am working on it!! ;-)
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